Wednesday, January 27, 2010

I was tempted...

to sit on the tailgate of the pickup that angled me in in the parking lot of the clinic/hospital so that I could see the face of the dumbass driver who angled me in. But it's too cold to sit outside and wait for stupid.

I was tempted to write a note to put on Dumbass's windshield that read something like this:

Dear Dumbass,
Before you drive off in this vehicle, please consider calling somebody to drive for you, because if you can't even park this pickup, I don't want to be around when you are actually driving it. Maybe also consider purchasing a vehicle that you can handle.
Sincerly,
The pregnant chick you angled in (your lucky I am only 15 weeks pregnant; any more and I wouldn't have been able to squeeze through where your tire and the back of my car practically met)

But the only paper that I had in my car was a coloring from Sami, and I didn't want to waste that on a dumbass.

I was also tempted to write "The driver of this vehicle is a Certified Dumbass" in the dirt on the tailgate, but again, it's really cold out and I would have to repeatedly lick my finger to write all of that. So I just settled with writing "Dumbass" on their tailgate.

WARNING: This pregnancy has removed my ability to control what I say and do.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

So you're the one who wrote that on my tailgate?

Anonymous said...

Do we need to put a warning label on you Kate?? The thought of visiting my pregnant daughter at the jail is....well...don't get me wrong....I will visit...'cause I love you unconditionally....but maybe a warning label would be a good idea. A lot of bad things could happen in the next five months!

Anonymous said...

This is one of the many reasons that I am proud your my sister! Please keep a notepad handy for the rest of your pregnancy and keep me updated:> Kyle