Mommy's WHAT?!

This beautiful, big eyed little lady is so misunderstood. The most recent misunderstanding:

At the table yesterday Stella started repeatedly saying 'Mommy dumb.' I let it go the first few times because I don't deny it. But she kept saying it so matter of factly and she got frustrated as she said it. I was hurt. My TWO-year-old thinks I am dumb. I started saying 'no, Stella, not nice' and she would repeat while nodding her head and pointing at me 'yah, mommy dumb.' I was so offended, I didn't know how to handle it. She kept pointing at me and saying it. This kid has many expressions to go with her words and she was giving me the 'I am right!' expression as she said this.

Did I mention I was hurt? I sat there chewing my gum trying to figure out how to handle this (I am dumb, after all), when I realized I was chewing gum!!!! Mommy gum! Not dumb! (Well, that can be argued, but let's focus on the fact that my two-year-old does not yet think so).

In Loving Memory

My Darling Keurig,

It is with a heavy heart that I say goodbye to you. You did so much for me, I don't know where to even begin. You saw me through sleepless nights, lifted me up during early (and I mean EARLY) mornings. For most of our time together, I couldn't have you all that I wanted. My bosom belonged to another. I felt awful, wanted you more at that time than I let on. I started seeing the signs that you were giving up on me long ago and I ignored them, too tired to put any effort into you. And I know I wasn't the only one who enjoyed your company. There was another who used you; pushed you to your limits, demanding more and more. Then I did the same. I lost respect for who you really were, a single cup kinda brewer. I wanted a full pot and I tried to change you, always asking for more. Then you started giving me less and less until you couldn't take it anymore.

In the week since you've been gone, my life has been a mess. I'm not thinking rationally. I dropped my phone in my bowl of cereal, sent my child to school without lunch, and more. I doze off randomly and think of you often.

I went through the stages:
Denial: I kept trying to get something from you, even though you didn't respond.
Anger: I got violent. I hit you, repeatedly. I thought I would bring you back.
Bargaining: I begged you to come back. Promised that I would take care of you.
Depression: I was so sad. Still am.
Acceptance: today I pulled the plug. It wasn't easy, but I did it.

I went out and got a coffee pot today. One that can handle my needs. I hope you understand; I had to move on.

You were truly a gift, and I will never forget you.

All my love,

Kate