DO NOT FEED THE BEARS

I have been blessed with good sleepers. Well, at least when they are crib bound they are good sleepers.  But, since Sami has been in a big kid bed, she has trouble staying in there by herself.  She has trouble every night. Every night. As babies, the only times that they really have bad nights seems to be when they have teeth coming through.  The way that this last week has been going, I think that the REST of Stella's teeth are coming through at the same time.  Every night this past week, she has woken up at least once, usually more than once. And Sami, who usually sleeps through it for at least a little bit, has been waking up at the exact same time. 

Unless you are my mother or my husband, you may not know that I need my sleep at night like a bear needs hibernation.  And if I don't get sleep at night, I usually can't pull myself together.  Being pregnant and not getting sleep makes me an emotional, mama grizzly bear at the very least.

This little grizzly bear has been going "waaa waaaa" every night this week.  But last night, this little grizzly bear went "waahhhh waaaaaaaaahhhhhh  wwwaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh" from about 12:30-3am, and this little grizzly bear's mama went "wwwhhhhhhyyyyyyy?!  wwwwhhhhyyyyyyyyy?!  wwwwhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy?!?!?!"  all night long.

It has been tough being a SAHM. Having my kids attached at the hip 24/7, whining, crying, asking me 50 questions per second when they know the answer and are clearly just trying to get me committed to an institution (I've been considering committing myself).  I have been missing the adult interaction and kid free time that came from working outside of the home.  Any SAHM can relate, I am sure of that. Maybe even if not a SAHM.  I feel like a single parent, and I feel FOR single parents. We get to see Joe a little bit in the evenings and sometimes on the weekends. He's started training dogs for hunting with a friend of his that owns Sheyenne River Kennels. He's really good at it and he came up with the idea so that his darling, pregnant wife wouldn't have to take in any extra kids (thank goodness!!).  It's work that needs to be done pretty much every day, but the times of days are flexible. So between his regular job, training dogs, going to the gym, guard drills and motorcycle rides (big ride this weekend for him, memorial ride for his friend that was missing for 4-5 days, so he'll be gone from Friday afternoon until Sunday sometime), we don't see him as much as we'd like to (but we are very thankful for what he does to keep us in the lifestyle to which we are accustomed-in the words of my father).  Sure, he doesn't need to work out every day. But really, he does. And not because I insist he keep working to maintain his man-ish figure, but because Joe not making it to the gym is like me being up all night. Do not feed the bears. And motorcycle trips are coming to an end soon, so that will be nice. But then it's snow blowing season, which is another part-time job (he does our driveway, of course, but also two others on our block for extra income).

I digress.

The point that I am going for here is that while I really, really, REALLY miss having break times from my kids, it is nice on days like this, when I have been up all night, to not have to try put myself and my kids together by 7:15a.m. and sit in front of a computer all day trying to stay awake without mass quantities of caffeine (which would most definitely be consumed orally AND intravenously from 7:30 a.m. - 5p.m. if I wasn't pregnant). To not have to cover up a desk snooze by making it look like I am thinking really hard with my head down in my hands is great.  Yes, I am exhausted and no, I haven't taken a nap this morning like I would have loved to.  But it is 10:20a.m. and I still need to brush my teeth and get dressed for the day, things that are usually done for me and the girls by about an hour or two ago. I was able to skip the first Kids and Moms meeting at church that I was planning on going to this morning, without worrying about pay deduction because I don't have any 'sick' or 'vacation' time left. This is the first morning all week that we have been home all morning and I am not a fan of it, but I AM a fan of the sort of freedom that I have to decide that we are staying home all morning. And while I really, really, REALLY miss having break times from my kids (and sometimes cry because I feel like they are out to get me, trying their best at making me crazy), I really do enjoy being a full-time mommy. When I am not crying, or threatening to put my kids for sale on craigslist or ebay, I am really, really, REALLY proud of the family that I have.

Also, I have decided that baby #3 can stay in utero for a couple of years until I am good and ready for it to come out.