Certified Electrocutions

For the few that don't know what this picture is of, it is the hole in the ceiling and the wiring for the dining room light fixture. The blue thing is the junction box (aka electrical box or ceiling box).

The project: replace 3 light fixtures (dining room, kitchen and entryway).
Saturday -
1:00 p.m.: (Kate) Take Sami to Grandma Deb's for a couple hours.
1:00 p.m.: (Joe) Remove old/original light fixture. Wait for wife to read directions.
1:30 p.m.: (Kate) Locate & review instructions. Crinkle eyebrows & scratch head.
1:50 p.m.: (Both) Begin installation of $40 "Quick & Easy Installation" (hereinafter "Q&E") chandelier (1st attempt).
2:20 p.m.: (Both) Accept failure of 1st attempt. Remove semi-installed Q&E chandelier.
2:30 - 6 p.m.: (Both) Assess the situation, research possible solutions, make hole in ceiling bigger, re-attempt installation, sort of accept failure of 2nd and 3rd attempts.
6-8p.m.: Go to Home Depot to buy different light fixture. Leave with a $3.00 "old work" junction box, convinced that it is the answer to our problem.
8p.m.: Pick up daughter from Grandma Deb's (couple-hour visit turned into 7 hr visit)
Sunday
7 a.m.: Breakfast at the Shack (our dining room table had been converted to a workbench; and also, we were in no mood to even see the disaster that we created the day before)
1p.m.: (Joe) Take Sami to Grandma Pam's for a couple hours; return to Home Depot in search of solutions.
1p.m.: (Kate) Take pictures. Laugh to self. Laugh at self. Go to local north side hardware store in search of solutions.
2 p.m.; Realize that we cut the ceiling hole too big, blah, blah, yadda, yadda, marriage is on the rocks.
3 p.m.: (Joe) Accept the fact that he has to crawl up in the 2 ft. high attic to reinstall a level, flush ceiling box. Go to local hardware store for "new work" ceiling box hardware. Steam coming out of ears.
3:02 p.m.: Secretly run to Lowe's and buy new, more expensive, less "quick & easy" chandelier.
4 p.m.: Joe in attic. Smacks head on one of many nails protruding from roof. Stab self in fresh tattoo with old protruding nail.
4:15 p.m.: Finally good team work in progress, excellent communication, marriage is looking safe.
6:30 p.m.: Joe leaves to pick up Sami. Wiring still needs to be completed. Confidence. Kate can handle it. Joe has almost returned to his less annoyed self.
7:00 p.m.: Kate can handle it. Wiring complete. Crap! Missed a step. Need to undo wiring, but need extra hands to help hold the chandelier.
7:30 p.m.: Joe returns home. Joe sees chandelier hanging and wiring exposed. Steam coming out of ears. Kate and Sami relocate to opposite end of house.
9:00 p.m.: Extra hands not needed. Joe completed correction of Kate's missed step. Joe puts Sami to bed, which returns him to calmness.
9-midnight: Kate finishes only part of project she should have been involved in (light bulbs) & cleanup. Can't wait to start the other two light fixtures!